Diets don’t work!! We all know that really. If they did work, they would be no need to launch new and more outlandish ones on a weekly basis.
The problem is that up until now no one has explained why they don’t work and more importantly how are we going to reach our ideal size and weight without dieting. Well, this series of blogs will provide the answers under the following headings.
1. Why do we eat they way we eat, when we know the way we eat piles on the pounds?
2. The definition of a diet and why a diet will never work in the long term
3. The secrets of ‘naturally’ slim people and why they seem able to eat anything they wish without gaining an ounce
4. The five steps to attaining your ideal weight and size and remaining there permanently
So…..
Why do we eat the way we eat, when we know the way we eat piles on the pounds?
To understand this conundrum we need to go back in time.
Consider a small baby (in this case, a baby girl), when she is hungry she cries for food. She drinks until her hunger is satisfied and then stops. She moves away from the breast or the bottle and no amount of coaxing will tempt her to drink another drop.
She’s a healthy baby girl and she grows, weaned off milk she now enjoys solid food. The same pattern occurs. When she is hungry she cries and Mum or Dad are ready with the baby food, she eats until she feels pleasantly replete but never overfull, she might even have room for some pureed pudding.
One thing is absolutely certain when her hunger is satisfied she will not eat another bite. If her parents try to persuade her to eat more the food tends to travel a different route; on the table, over the high chair, on the walls, on the parents, everywhere but in the babies mouth.
The reason for this is straightforward. Every baby that has ever been born starts out in life as a natural eater. All babies begin by eating when they are hungry and stopping when they are full. They regard food on a fundamental level, fuel to help the body survive and grow.
So what happens?
Now although it pains me to admit this, being one myself – PARENTS HAPPEN. I’m sure many of you are familiar with the book ‘Parent’s F*** You Up’, in this case it’s absolutely true.
So what is this ‘cardinal sin’ that most parents commit, this elementary error that the majority of us are guilty of? Well there are two really, the first is – WE WORRY!!
It usually starts when our children are between 2 and 4. We start to analyse their eating habits, usually this is a slow insidious mental process that creeps up on us over a period of time. Is our son or daughter eating too much, or too little, are they eating the right food or do they leave the salad on the plate and hope for some sweets later? Are they growing too fast or too slow? With all these questions we do what every parent does in these circumstances – WE WORRY
At least that’s what we do initially. Then after we worry, we interfere! You will remember that at this point our child’s relationship with food is natural and instinctive. Their bodies are complex, wonderful machines that know exactly what type and quantity of food is needed to keep them healthy, fit and active. If left alone the body will ensure that from the available food, the child receives the correct balance of nutrients.
Then we parents interfere. We try and change our child’s eating habits by:
• Forcing them to eat food that they don’t really want e.g. ‘You’re not leaving this table until that plate is clean!’
• Regulating their eating to certain times of the day e.g. ‘No you can’t have a sandwich, you’ll have to wait for your lunch!’
• Forcing them to eat foods that are unpalatable to them e.g. ‘Of course you must eat your spinach, it’s good for you!’
• Comparing their eating habits to others e.g. ‘Why can’t you eat like your friend Johnny, he always finishes all his food!’
• Shaming them into eating e.g. ‘Think of all the starving children in the world, what they would give to have a nice plate of food in front of them…….like you have!!’
During this interference we commit the second error – BRIBERY
• ‘If you finish all your dinner, I’ve a nice pudding for you’
And the bribery moves into other areas.
• ‘If you finish all your homework, you can have a sweet’
• ‘The winner can have an extra slice of cake’
The consequence of our interference and bribery is fundamental and enduring. In our child’s subconscious mind, food was initially categorised as fuel to maintain the body’s health and growth. Over a period of time we change our children’s perception of food and now the subconscious mind associates food with emotions ….. guilt, pleasure, shame pride. A whole plethora of emotions that have nothing to do with the real reason that we need to eat, as fuel for the body.
The result of our body’s change in perception is that we now start to eat food for all the wrong reasons:
• Because we’re happy
• Because we’re sad
• Because we’re bored
• As a treat
• As a consolation
• As a replacement
• Because we’re stressed
• To celebrate ….. etc. etc.
This is one of the significant reasons that cause difficulty in controlling our weight, because our motivation to eat has become biased in favour of our emotions.